ISSUE 43: GREEN MACHINE GARDENING
The weather is warming and sunbeams are returning to the sky. Mother Nature is finally putting winter to bed. What's next? Spring, baby. The rebirth of everything beautiful. Unless you're living in the sewers, stop and smells the roses.
In honor of the spring season, I wanted to get my green thumb on. Equipped with TMNT gardening gear, it was time for cowabunga cultivation.
Gardening is a soothing experience. There's no better way to spend a spring day than churning through the dirt and digging through the Earth. You're destined to get messy, but a pair of gardening gloves can keep your paws sparkling.
I guess a 30-year-old dude is no longer a "Ninja in Training." My massive mitts couldn't squeeze inside these child-sized gardening gloves. But with a little luck and a prayer, my girlfriend managed to force her hands inside.
Until a TMNT-branded wheelbarrow is released, hauling soil to your garden is limited to smaller quantities.
The Turtles are ready to battle against weeds in this fancy foil design that wraps around the vivid green bucket. Fighting the Foot Clan? Nah, fighting garden intruders.
Nickelodeon's TMNT logo shines proud near the bucket's handle.
Inside the bucket is a lump of Earth. I was hoping to find a mutated Wyrm slithering through the soil.
Every hero has a weapon. The Turtles each sport a specific tool to fight evildoers. Well, gardeners are no different. A good greenskeeper always has a shovel handy to combat their patch of Earth.
Scooping through the dirt gets a jolt of Turtle Power. The slime-green spade of the shovel brings mutant mayhem to the garden.
Created for kids, this shovel won't be winning any awards. Unfortunately, it's puny in size and flimsy in quality. The handle is wrapped in a fragile sticker (which shows the Turtles). It's awesome on the eyes, but impractical for such a hands-on activity like gardening.
After just one use, the sticker is already starting to slide off and tear away. Hopefully the lil guy can survive until the summer._________________________________________________________
There are endless choices when it comes to planting your garden. But, me? Jonatello, master of The Sewer Den? Naturally, I picked two key ingredients for pizza.
Living in NYC, my access to land is limited. Fortunately, my pad has plenty of sun-filled windowsills. Armed with a few planter pots, I put the TMNT gardening gear to work.
Pizza is impossible without tomato sauce. Instinctively, tomato plants seemed like a solid place to start for The Sewer Den gardening excursion. Although tiny, the gloves and shovel made planting a breeze.
A homemade tomato pie is much more savory with fresh herbs. By packing such an awesome aroma, planting basil was the undeniable choice. The pleasant scent channels thoughts of warm weather and tasty cuisine. It's an irresistible herb.
With our pizza plants situated comfortably in their new soil, there was only one more thing left to do...
Spilling water on your thirsty plants has never been so cute. Despite the Turtles' best efforts to look fearsome, this water can is adorable. Every pour is loaded with green machine green thumbing.
Try all you want, dudes. You're not fooling anybody. Those weapons, your vicious expressions, and that battle-ready pose fall flat. Gardening does not get gruesome with a watering can this cute.
With a neon green nozzle, you'd expect this thing to pump out ooze. It may not mutate your plants as quickly, but water will still do the trick.
JUST ADD WATER
Let the mutation begin! With the plants in their pots, adding H20 was the final step. Like a spring rain, water sprinkled onto the tomato plants, the basil plants, and a Snakeweed action figure (hey, he's a mutated weed - the dude has the right to be here!).
If spring doesn't put pep in your step, the TMNT gardening tools certainly will. Let's hope the extra boost of Turtle Power pushes my pizza plants strong throughout the season. I'm hoping for massive mutated tomatoes alongside a bushel of bodacious basil.
If only there was a plant that produced cheese...