Cowabunga Christmas: 2007 Movie Stocking

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.


Ugly sweaters have taken over Christmas. The memories and photos of our poor fashion choices of the past have morphed into a weird phenomenon. From eBay to Walmart, everyone seems to be selling their version of the ugly holiday sweater. But what about stockings? The fireplace-mounted classic hasn't evolved in ages. We've been stuck with the same designs for decades. No evolution, no creativity, and no ugliness.

TMNT has changed that. The new phenomenon is finally here.


Using the likeness of the 2007 TMNT movie, we have the ultra ugly holiday stocking. This is wildly different than anything we've seen before. The Turtles have been featured on MANY questionable items over the years, but this one takes the cake. In what can only be described as "the most tacky design ever," the decoration features a giant hunk of green plastic leeched on its top. This is Raphael, weighing in at what seems like 50 pounds. He's beyond clunky and can likely be used as a weapon to fend off relatives who've had one too many eggnogs. The awkwardness and weapon-like nature of this thing really is astounding. 


I want to say the stocking is so ugly that it's awesome. I want to tell you it's the prize piece to my holiday collection. But I also want to tell you that would all be a lie. The stocking is a true mutant, a hybrid of two classics that result in a brand-new breed of grotesque. I hoped this beastly decoration could spark a new phenomenon of ugly, that we would soon live in a world riddled with ugly holiday stockings thanks to this monstrosity. Looks like that's not happening just yet, but I'll keep it nice and ugly here at The Sewer Den for all of you.

Check back for more holiday hijinks all December during Cowabunga Christmas!

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