Issue 51: Cowabunga Cupid

Happy Valentine's Day! Cupid has come to The Sewer Den. I love showcasing my collection of TMNT Valentines. The latest batch I've obtained will make your heart swoon with Turtle Power.

Here they are! Our valiant heroes, wooing you with a warped pizza in the shape of a heart. Printed in 1994.

The artwork showcases the Turtles from the original movies, but in an illustrated form. I guess guys in rubber suits aren't very romantic.

I want Raphael to define "Special Friend."

When I popped the package open, I was surprised to see that the Valentines featured art from the cartoon TV series (since the box displayed movie-themed mutants). The cards also indicated 2 different years of print. Some are copyrighted in 1991, while others read 1992. Instead of creating a new product, the makers lumped an old assortment of Valentines together with a new box. People were lazy 1994.

The artwork, as per usual, is painfully funny. Look at this one. I'm glad we can't hear the song Mikey is singing. That face is too weird. Is he hocking a loogie or in love?

Here's a card that's simple and to the point. No wonder Donatello is the brainy one.

This one is my favorite in the bunch. Nothing says romance like a trench coat and a Casablanca quote.

The art of love meets the martial arts. Romance can be dangerous, but so can a mutant teenager.

Heroes in a Halfshell - the whole gang is here! This card is for the special someone who just isn't that special. A not so subtle way to push that person into the "friend zone."

Another card that lacks passion. Com'on boys, keep it flirty from the sewers!

Surprise! Did you know villains celebrate Valentine's Day too? Apparently they refer to their lover as a "Valentine Pal." Bad guys might be fearless, but it seems like they're afraid of commitment.

Our clumsy, evil-doing duo cruise in for an appearance - Rocksteady & Bebop! I'm falling in love with that glorious ponytail blowing in the wind...

Another mutant in the mix! Are Mondo Gecko & Michelangelo in love? Looks like their pulling at your heartstrings, reenacting the pivotal scene of Titanic. "I'll never let go, Mondo. I'll never let go..."

If you're super cool and have a swarm of buddies, the box offers 4 addition cards on the back. Snip them off with a pair of scissors and hand them out to your subpar friends.

Hope your 14th is filled with roses, kisses, and cowabunga. Happy Valentine's Day from The Sewer Den! Hugs, hearts, and high-threes!

1 comment:

  1. Those are hilarious, all the more so with your commentary!

    I bought the current TMNT valentines from the dollar store.


Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.

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