ISSUE 26: EAT UP, DUDE (PART 3)
If your tummy is rumbling for some Ninja Turtles snacking, The Sewer Den has got you covered once again. Eat Up, Dude - Part 1 whet your appetite and Eat Up, Dude - Part 2 delivered a sensational second dish. Still got room in your food basket? Well, sink your teeth into another helping and get your Ninja Turtles grub on.
CHEESE PASTA DINNER
If you guessed something 100% enriched with Durum Semolina, you are correct!
I wanted to include the nutrition facts. But, there really aren’t any nutrients when it comes to a Cheese Pasta Dinner.
Another packaging mystery is the positioning of the fearsome four. This iconic pose has been plastered on the face of thousands of Ninja Turtles products. But, this time the image has shifted the boys around a bit. Donatello dives into Michelangelo's usual spot in the sewer.
Check out the pasta artwork compared to the usual artwork found on this button.
Sadly, if this were still available in the supermarket, I'd shell out the cash to buy a few boxes. Go ninja, go ninja, go ninja CHEESE!_________________________________________________________
DELICIOUS BITE SIZE COOKIES
The designers who whipped up this packaging deserve credit for their stellar work. The Turtles have the perfect mix of serious ninja and goofy gags spread across this box. Each one hangs off the blimp with their own mini scenario.
Leonard mans the controls.
Donatello swings into action and Michelangelo high-fives in the skies.
And Raphael…well Raphael fights off a pesky bird. Not sure what that's about, but it's a gag that deserves a laugh.
I often wonder if anything I ate in the 90's was natural. Supermarket shelves seemed to always be stocked with processed products packed with artificial flavor. The Delicious Bite Size Cookies are no different. Artificially flavored chocolate chip? I didn't even know that was possible. How difficult is it to throw a real, natural chocolate chip in a cookie? Fighting crime, flying blimps above the city, and defeating the Shredder were all feasible for the Turtles. But, natural chocolate chips? Nope.
One of the best aspects of purchasing TMNT foods was the chance to score some sweet Turtle merch. Almost every box included a mail-in offer so kids could get their grubby mitts on even more ninja action. Delicious Bite Size Cookies had one of the best deals - the TMNT Fan Club. The illustrious club showered you with gifts from the start. Stickers, exclusive posters, a bandanna, an official membership card - the goodies kept coming. Was I a member of the TMNT Fan Club? You bet your shell. But, that post is for another day.
Delicious Bite Size Cookies also included one "cookie point." Not sure if there were any perks to collecting "cookie points" - they have nothing to do with the TMNT Fan Club (at least according to the order form on the box). Kids could collect hundreds of "cookie points" and then do absolutely nothing with them. Fun!
APPLE CINNAMON GRAHAMS
Did Delicious bake tasty cookies? Who cares. Their packaging design goes above and beyond creative genius - and the Apple Cinnamon Grahams certainly take the cake (cookie?).
Based loosely on the design of the Turtles main mode of transportation, the Party Wagon, these cookies come packaged in a box full of fun. Whopping wheels, menacing gun turrets, and a spoiler hanging off the roof for some added sleekness - the Super Van packs a punch. The little steering wheel peering over the dashboard is especially delightful. Is it weird to wish this box of cookies was my first car?
The details continue to the rear. Tiny brake lights and a mini bumper bring cookie craving to a whole new level.
Unfortunately, no matter how awe-inspiring this vehicle might be, there's a flaw. Like the chocolate chip cookies, these guys are artificially flavored. Bummer.
The enticing scent of fresh cookies is long gone from these guys. No apple, no cinnamon, no graham.
Although you may have to squint, each Turtle is still distinguishable. The weapons solve the mystery and help identify each ninja.
The big question – did I taste one of these guys? Nope, not just yet. Like a fine wine, I’m letting it age a few more years.
BLUE BUNNY ICE CREAM POPSICLE
Dessert at its finest – straight from the ice cream truck. But unlike the Apple Cinnamon Grahams, ice cream can’t survive the test of time. Temperature and freezer burn certainly make sure of that. What we’re left with is a simple sticker from an ice cream truck. Like a museum, it gives us a look into what did exist in the past.
Bubble gum eyeballs! Kids piled up in front of the ice cream truck on those hot summer days for a TMNT popsicle. Within seconds the icy treat would be gone and kids would be chomping their teeth on two pieces of bubble gum.
I usually keep an eye out at flea markets and on the internet for all sorts of silly mutant munchies – I’m always hungry for more. The Turtles ventured into some weird merchandise, but the food items they distributed are my favorite. The older they get, the weirder they are to own. A limited edition TMNT poster can only go so high in value. But, a batch of Apple Cinnamon Grahams? Priceless.
Well, maybe not. But, they’re priceless to me!