Cowabunga Christmas: Holiday Card (with Button!)

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Your mailbox will never see anything this perfect.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Christmas card is no ordinary piece of mail.

It's majestic.
It's festive.
It includes a button!

Printed in the UK and licensed in Australia in 1990, I have no idea the true origins of this paper beauty. It's definitely not an American product, making it internationally awesome. The artwork is classic TMNT perfection, designed with the wacky style we all loved as kids. Making Ninja Turtles merchandise was the Wild West back in late 80s & early 90s. No rules, no consistency, or no real style guide. Artists made wacky choices that often went unquestioned, resulting in many outlandish creations - like this holiday card! Example - why are there two Michelangelos here?!

Cowabunga Christmas: Mutated Christmas Tree

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

This is better than pizza.

I’ve seen a lot of Ninja Turtles merchandise. A lot. From high-quality to bottom of the barrel, the franchise has offered fans a bit of everything. But, it’s the custom stuff that really shines. Fans taking initiative to spawn their own creations is far more exciting than mass-produced cash grabs. Occasionally these things are so awesomely outlandish they grab your attention & don’t let go. Call it holiday spirit, call it inspiration - my pal Sammy Hain & his family’s self-made Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Christmas tree is festive, gnarly & puts a goofy Michelangelo-like smile on my face.

Cowabunga Christmas: Nickelodeon DVD

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Cowabunga Christmas is a DVD re-release of the 2003 version of TMNT’s holiday episode. Nickelodeon hasn’t released much of the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series, but it’s nice to see the show getting some love with this disc. This edition followed many years after the original DVD hit store shelves. It's cool to see the artwork reimagined and repackaged. The featured holiday episode, “The Christmas Aliens,” is a festive adventure through NYC & the sewers. There’s snow, sledding, and even Splinter dressed as Santa! You can’t go wrong with a rat Saint Nick. Cowabunga Christmas is perfect for an annual screening during the holidays.

Cowabunga Christmas: Retro Ornaments

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Sometimes I wish there were only three Ninja Turtles. Don’t get me wrong, the fearsome four can’t be beat. But sometimes, that fourth Turtle makes life difficult. All too often that fourth Turtle keeps a set from being complete. Well, that fourth Turtle struck again. A radical set of retro ornaments dangles from my Christmas tree incomplete - all because of that fourth Turtle.

Cowabunga Christmas: Plush Santa Raphael (2012)

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

When I first spotted this holiday plush of Raphael, my brain became fixated on one single thought - Die Hard. The free-standing Turtle didn't look cute, festive or seasonal. To me, he looked like one of Bruce Willis's victims in the 1988 classic film. I couldn't shake the visual from my mind. The usual "cowabunga" & "Turtle Power" catchphrases didn't mesh with this dude. Die Hard quotes, like "Now I have a machine gun, ho-ho-ho," seemed way more appropriate.

Cowabunga Christmas: Promotional Video Poster

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

What's your favorite holiday movie? Everyone asks this question. People love expanding on this too, going further to suggest what is and what isn't a Christmas movie. While the debate rages on whether or not Die Hard is or isn't a holiday film, I can take a bold stand and tell you that the 3rd Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film is definitely NOT a Christmas movie. But, that didn't stop marketing efforts behind the flick. They created many promotional materials that tried to force holiday spirit into the sewers just to sell a few extra copies of the movie. One of the best (worst?) is this promotional poster for the home video release of the TMNT 3. 

Cowabunga Christmas: Michelangelo Sketchbook

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

I've got a holiday decorating hack. It's nothing groundbreaking, but something I often use in a pinch when covering my home in festive decor. Books! Holiday reads are the best way to fill in dead spots and cover up the boring spots in your living space. Everything from the classics to thrift store finds, it all works. But my personal recommendation is to do it with Turtle Power. Have you spotted the Michelangelo Sketchbook: A Wonderful Holiday Tale on store shelves? Not only does it make for a solid decoration, but it's a seasonal read worth thumbing through.

Cowabunga Christmas: 2007 Movie Stocking

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Ugly sweaters have taken over Christmas. The memories and photos of our poor fashion choices of the past have morphed into a weird phenomenon. From eBay to Walmart, everyone seems to be selling their version of the ugly holiday sweater. But what about stockings? The fireplace-mounted classic hasn't evolved in ages. We've been stuck with the same designs for decades. No evolution, no creativity, and no ugliness.

TMNT has changed that. The new phenomenon is finally here.

Cowabunga Christmas: Raphael Snow Globe

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Stop all the clocks. Rewind back to a simpler time. A time with no internet, video stores, and plastic snow globes. This was my life in 1990. 8 years old and obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Who am I kidding? That's my life now too!). But back then, December was pure fantasy. Decorating for the holidays and crafting my wish list, it was all so magical. But nothing topped the annual appearance of my Raphael snow globe. Once the decoration was put on display, I knew the holidays had begun. Festive food, family gathering, and presents! Raphael was like the master of ceremonies to all these things, kicking them off and watching over us as we enjoyed the spirit of the season.

Christmas Fallout: 2016 Edition

The holiday gauntlet has ended. I survived another year of shuffling through New York and New Jersey to visit family and friends. I'd like to tell you that is all that mattered, that the joy of loved ones makes for the most happiness. But, I can't lie. Even as a dude in his 30s, getting Christmas gifts is still fun. Although I cherish the memories with others more, tearing gifts open is still a blast. I enjoy opening presents and am grateful when something thoughtful is given to me. Christmas 2016 had lots of gracious gifts. Let's take a peek at these presents.

Cowabunga Christmas: Bootleg Action Figures

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Have you ever received a Christmas gift that is so good it defines the entire holiday? Nintendo, a BMX bike, the Technodrome playset - all gifts that shaped my merry season, raising the caliber for Christmas throughout the rest of my life.

Can a gift be so bad it does the same? I think so. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to the coal of Cowabunga Christmas, bootleg TMNT figures aka. Super Ninjas.

Cowabunga Christmas: Activity Pad

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Stocking stuffers is a phrase that makes me feel uncomfortable. When is "stuffing" ever good? I know when I'm "stuffed" it's a terrible feeling. I look around my home and often wonder if I own too much "stuff." So when I think of "stocking stuffers," all these idiosyncrasies come to mind. But, I'm conflicted because junkie gifts are always fun. There are a few TMNT stocking stuffers that won't set the world on fire, but they are really festive.

Cowabunga Christmas: Popcorn Tin

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Decorated trees, Santa Claus - the symbols of Christmas. There's another. One that often gets overlooked, yet is equally as prominent. It's classic, it's everywhere, and every family has nibbled on this tradition at some point.

The popcorn tin.

The moment you pop off the lid, a confusing aroma of salts and sweets tickles your nose. Like the Holy Trinity, there are 3 flavors divided equally. The semi-stale, yet still delicious tastes of butter, cheddar, and caramel are right before you. Small nibbles, big handfuls, one flavor, all flavors - there's no wrong way to eat from the popcorn tub. It's a symbol of Christmas with no rules.

Cowabunga Christmas: Merry Mutants Big Golden Book

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Christmas stories are the best stories. The holidays create the perfect setting in movies, books, and music. Although The Godfather might be a superior film, I've watched Home Alone dozens more times because of its holiday DNA. Christmas stories are a tradition, a yearly ritual that I look forward to. Each year I shuffle through a bevy of favorites, but I'm always on the look out for new classics. This season, TMNT enters the arena with a new Big Golden Book entitled Merry Mutants.

NAUGHTY OR NICE?

The book is aimed at kids. I knew that going in, but was still eager for a fun holiday story. The festive formula is simple for TMNT - put mutants in Santa hats and keep the narrative silly. That's it. Follow this simple blueprint and success is guaranteed. In a shocking twist of events, Merry Mutants somehow screws that up. No Santa hats. No silly narrative. The cover is purely a tease. The pages within the book tell a tale of the Turtles snowboarding throughout New York City while Leo is in a grumpy mood. The pages are a visual charming winter wonderland, but don't set your yule log ablaze.

The saving grace is one lonely Christmas tree lurking in the background. It's not hidden, but it's a Where's Waldo-like adventure searching for any holiday visuals in Merry Mutants.

COWABUNGA CONCLUSION

Merry Mutants is misleading. While the cover paints a very Christmas feel, the pages within are nothing but a winter tale that plays it too safe. The festive fun has been stripped away, an effort to steer clear of offending non-Christmas celebrating folks. But then why bother releasing a book entitled, Merry Mutants that features the Turtles in Santa hats on the cover? There's an indecisiveness that plagues what could've been a classic.

Maybe this book is suppose to be for kids or something.

Check back for more holiday hijinks all month during The Sewer Den's Cowabunga Christmas!

Cowabunga Christmas: Terribly Awesome (Wizard Santa Hat)

It's so bad, it's good. Let's embrace the terribly awesome during Cowabunga Christmas.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Santa Claus has been successfully dressed in a suit of red for decades. The world loves him in that color, I love him in that color. Red, often a color used to depict anger, is beautifully jovial when it comes to Saint Nick. But, someone didn't agree. Red wasn't to their liking. Red was too classic. In 2016, they thought Santa needed a reboot. Cue the color purple. Cue the Terribly Awesome.

Cowabunga Christmas: Pull Puppet Ornament

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

TMNT holiday ornaments are no stranger to The Sewer Den. I've shared dozens of them over the years. But, I don't always have a complete set. That's one of the most frustrating aspects of TMNT collecting - there's 4 of everything! There's a set of pull puppet ornaments that fall into the incomplete bucket. Leonardo and Raphael have been lingering around my collection for ages, but their 2 other Turtles bros are missing in action. Now, I'm one step closer to completion with Michelangelo!

Cowabunga Christmas: Retro Stocking

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Retro and vintage are in. Big buzzwords I think we're all getting sick of hearing. Even though most of us were embracing the past and its charm well before this movement, the trendy throwbacks have now taken over pop culture. Everyone is high on nostalgia. That includes TMNT too. Digging up Christmas memorabilia from the yesteryear is a blast, but now you don't have to go scouring eBay or digging around dirty flea markets to discover old school treasures. A quick visit to a big box store and you'll find retro-inspired TMNT Christmas gear everywhere, like this stocking featuring Leonardo.

Cowabunga Christmas: Terribly Awesome (Angel Wing T-Shirt)

It's so bad, it's good. Let's embrace the terribly awesome during Cowabunga Christmas.

Have you ever wanted to be an angel? 

Have you ever wanted to be a mutant?

You're in luck. With this winged TMNT t-shirt, both are possible. Slip this sucker on and you'll mutate into a fashion phenom. Lift those arms to flash your purple wings, conveniently tucked in your armpits. Flutter around your Christmas tree, showing off your stylish shirt (and your insanity) to your family. This wardrobe is memorable. No one will forget it.

Cowabunga Christmas: Inflatable Raphael

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Living in an NYC, I'm envious of suburban front yard holiday displays. Strings of lights, candles in the windows, a wreath on the front door - I want these things! But, the element I cherish most is the tacky lawn prop. From gaudy candy canes to illuminated Santas, these are the reasons I want to be a suburban dude. That dream is infinitely amplified when an inflatable TMNT Raphael lawn decoration is a possibility.

Cowabunga Christmas: Half-Shell Heroes Snow Globe

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

Are you familiar with the Half-Shell Heroes? Back in 2015, Nickelodeon released an hour-long special, Blast from the Past, featuring the green machines in an adorable art style. Although the lengthy episode is aimed toward younger kids, the lighthearted, very silly humor is still entertaining for the older fan base. I'm pretty sure this special was created solely for merchandising. But, it's hard to care. Cowabunga has never been so cute.

The existence of the Half-Shell Heroes special along with all its merchandise means there's another opportunity for holiday-inspired creations. Is this snow globe something festive for us fans to swoon over? It embraces the winter season, but also treads very lightly on any Christmas appeal.